for FINEally... i'm back!!!!!!!

So, I started housesitting at the castle on Saturday. I haven't had internet since then. It's been painful... But, today, Angela called me and gave me the password, so I am for FINALLY online!!!!! It's very sad how distraught I was over not being able to get online. This beast I had created was hungry and needed to be FED!!!! But, everyone is happy and healthy now; all bellies are full. And I can finally breathe a sigh of relief... ...Sad, huh? I know. I'm sorry...

Tomorrow is Halloween! We're having our "fall picnic" at work tomorrow. And, I'M dressing up as a PIRATE!!!!!!! I was gonna buy a costume, but... who wants to wear something everyone else in the city is also wearing?!?!?! So, I picked up a corset type tank from the store yesterday, and paired it with a bunch of other little things I had at my house. I think I'm a cross between punk rocker and pirate. So, I guess I'm a little punkrocker pirate - if there is such a thing. ....Well, as of tomorrow there will be! :) Pictures will be posted soon.

I'm sure everyone missed me not being able to post any blogs for like 4 days, but... you don't have to worry any more. I'm back! :)

Love you!

IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE CHRISTMAS!!!!

okay, not really... especially with the torrential downpours we had tonight, but thank god for them - we needed the rain!!!! and the temperatures are way too warm for christmas.... BUT, christmas is my lead into new years which leads me to tell you about my plans for new years this year... i am going to.... NEW YORK CITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) :) :) :) yep!!!!! me, shawna, christian and dakota! we're all gonna be there! i can't wait!!!!!!! i finally get to see the christmas tree up close and personal @ rockefeller plaza and go ice skating. okay, who am i kidding???? i can't ice skate. i'll either be hugging the wall, or pancaking myself to the ground. :) but, it will be fun, and i can't wait!!!!! back in august, when shawna and i were there, we took the rockefeller tour and saw where they put the christmas tree every year. did you know they actually have a big bronze circle plate on the sidewalk that says christmas tree?!?!?!? yeah, it's kinda awesome. and now i get to really really really see it all come together! i can't *WAIT*!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) :) :) :) :) oh! *AND* we're gonna see WICKED on broadway!!!!!! i don't mean to make you guys jealous, but seriously... i'm just UBER happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

.you.

wish i could read to you what is haunting in my heart
but whenever i open my mouth, i suddenly forget how to read
my obsessions with speech and grammar are gone
because when i think of you, i can't speak; the words do not exist

i don't like you for doing this to me. for dulling me senses. my normalcies. i am different now. but i want to thank you.

not really sure how i feel about these? hrmf...

same pics. one's just out of camera; the other is grayscaled. ...hrmf... i just don't know...

OOOOOOFA LOOOOOOFA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, so today... We were celebrating the birthday of 3 of my coworkers; one being my boss. We were going to Bravo's. Reminder emails were sent out that we were leaving at 1145, to get our lunch on at noon.
I was gonna ride with Brooke and Lindsay. We leave. Everyone else is leaving... We all sit down at the restaurant. Food's coming out. And all a sudden we realize we're missing one person! ....MY BOSS!!!!! No one got her for her very own (shared) birthday lunch celebration!!!!!!!! It was *horr*ible!!! So, I try calling her @ the office, and on her cell. She doesn't answer either phone. I finally call someone at the office to see if she is still @ the office, annnnnnnnnd..... she was. OOOOOPS!!! So, I talk to her and tell her to come, because the food was just delivered. She insists that she's coming. Well, about 5 minutes later, she calls some ELSE to tell them that she's not coming afterall, and to just bring her food back. So, we do. I tell Brooke she's coming with me to give her the food, because there is strength in numbers, right?!?!? :) So, we give her her birthday lunch. Her back is to us, and we're like... Okay, here's your lunch darling. She was like... "mmmhmmm..." - Didn't even turn around to acKNOWLEDge us!!!! We told her we were sorry... yada yada. So, Brooke and I told her we were going to take her out and she was like no, this is fine. Thanks for taking me to my birthday lunch. The lunch was delicious. The company was great. Thanks a lot. ...Brooke and I wanted to bury ourselves...

In our defense though... there were several emails that went out, and she usually rides with another lady, so we just assumed she had a ride.

Hmmmmm... yeah. I am not a good person. :(

OH WHERE OH WHERE DID ALL MY HAIR GO????

SO, I GOT MY HAIR DONE LAST NIGHT. IT'S SHORT. REAL SHORT. SHORTER THAN I WANTED, BUT IT'LL GROW TO THE LENGTH I WANT IN ABOUT 2 WEEKS. I WENT PLATINUM AGAIN. THIS IS MY FINALLY HOO-RAH WITH PLATINUM. :( JUST CAUSE MY HAIR GROWS SO FAST, AND MY ROOTS START SHOWING WITHIN A WEEK. IF I KEEP THE MAINTENANCE UP, MY HAIR'S GONNA LOOK LIKE STRAW BEFORE MARCH. SO, AFTER THIS... I'M DOIN A NEW COLOR. WHAT COLOR? THAT'S FOR ME TO KNOW, AND YOU TO WAIT FOR! :) HOPE YOU LIKE IT!

rockstar detective...

so, today, i wore this cute little plaid suit to work. i got it from target. i love it and so did everyone else... well, lindsay seems to think i look very sherlock holmes in my get up. she requested that i go home, take a picture and post it. so, here you go. i took several. but, this one i thought was dark and mysterious. i think i could *sooooo* play a detective! :) what do YOU think????

MOE JO BONES ROCKS MY FACE OFF!!!!

THIS IS A POST TO MY FAVORITE LITTLE SISTER... MY MOE JO BONES. SHE ROCKS MY FACE OFF. I LOVE HER. SHE HAS A SINUS INFECTION RIGHT NOW. :( IT MAKES ME SAD. IF I LIVED NEAR HER, I'D GO OVER TO HER HOUSE AND MAKE HER SOME CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP. I MIGHT EVEN DO A LOAD OF LAUNDRY FOR HER. ...AND CLEAN HER KITCHEN. I'D GIVER HER SOME DRUGS AND SEND HER TO BED. THEN, TAKE THE KIDS OUTSIDE... WE'D MAKE MUD PIES AND CLIMB TREES. THEN, I'D TAKE THEM ALL FOR A RIDE IN THE GOKART. MOE... REMEMBER WHEN I PUT JUSTIN IN THE KART AND HE FELL A*SLEEEEEEP*?!!??!?! :) LOL... THAT WAS AWESOME!!!! :)

I WROTE AN ODE FOR YOU:

SHE'S MY MOE JO BINGO...
SOMETIMES BANANA CAKES...
SHE COOKS AND CLEANS
SOMETIMES SHE BAKES...
SHE MISSES ME LOTS
AND I MISS HER TOO
SHE'S 40,000 MILES AWAY
BUT, I'M NOT BLUE.
(i'm orange). :)

LOVE YOU!!!!!!!

ROTTEN KIDS!!!!!!

SO, TONIGHT... SMELLY KELLY AND BOYS CAME OVER FOR DINNER. I MADE A NICE SPAGHETTI DISH.

SMELLY WAS ON MY LAPTOP... I WAS LISTENING TO THE "LAND OF MILK AND HONEY" (THANK YOU CRS). :) AND IT KEPT SKIPPING! I WAS GETTING ALL FRUSTRATED, CAUSE I HAD JUST LISTENED TO IT EARLIER, AND IT WAS FINE!!!! WHAT IN THE WORLD?!?!?! IT'S FINE ONE MINUTE, THEN SMELLY KELLY COMES OVER, AND NOW IT'S BROKE?!?!?!?! SO, I GO OVER TO LOOK AT "WHAT SHE DID"... :) AND I CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT... AND ALL A SUDDEN, A TINY BODY POPS UP FROM BEHIND THE CHAIR... GIGGLING LIKE THE ROTTEN CHILD HE IS, AND HE'S HOLDING THE *REMOTE* *CONTROL* TO MY LAPTOP!!!!!!! HE IS *JUST* LIKE HIS UNCLE JOHN!!!!!!!! HE BRINGS IT OVER. I LITERALLY *RUN* AFTER HIM! HE'S LAUGHING THE WHOLE TIME. DARTS INTO MY ROOM... I TACKLE HIM ON THE BED, AND START TICKLING HIM NON-STOP!!!!! I THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA PEE HIS PANTS!!! :) I COULDN'T BELIEVE THAT KID!!!!!! HE IS *SOOOOO* *ROTTEN*!!!!!!!!!!! ....AND I LOVE HIM. A LOT. HE WAS PUTTING TRASH IN MY GARBAGE CAN AND SAID, "HEY AUNTBOB, I'LL TAKE THE TRASH OUT TONIGHT WHEN I LEAVE". *PRECIOUS*!!!! HE'S 10 YEARS OLD. ...OFFERING TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH. ....*LOVE* *HIM*!. I DIDN'T LET HIM TAKE IT THOUGH. I WENT WITH HIM. THIS KID IS NOTHING SHORT OF AMAZING AND LOVELY.

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen... What they say is true...

I put the "R" in RAD... and I got the SHIRT to prove it!!!!! :)

3 HOURS SLEEP, AND SO FAR SO GOOD...

I DIDN'T SLEEP MUCH LAST NIGHT. TOTALLY OKAY WITH IT. I WAS HAVING THE BEST CONVERSATION WITH A FRIEND. :) I WAS GONNA WAIT TO WATCH THE SUN RISE. BUT, I WAS ABOUT 45 MINUTES TOO SHORT. :( DOESN'T MATTER THOUGH.

TIJUANA FLATS IS TODAY!!!!! I CAN'T WAIT!!!!! I'M GETTING THE CHICKEN FLAUTAS! SERIOUSLY... THEY SHOULD HAVE A "FREQUENT VISITOR CARD" FOR ME AND THE GIRLS I WORK WITH. I SWEAR, WE ARE IN THERE PRETTY MUCH EVERY WEEK. AND NOW THAT THE NEW ONE IS EVEN CLOSER... *DANGER* *DANGER*!!!!!!! :)

LOTS TO DO TODAY. GOTTA SHOWER. VISIT THE FLATS. GROCERY SHOP. DO AT LEAST *ONE* LOAD OF LAUNDRY. AND COOK DINNER FOR MY SMELLY SIS AND BOYS. :) ...SHE'S NOT REALLY SMELLY. I JUST CALL HER SMELLY KELLY. ....FOR FUN. ;)

LOTS TO DO....

is it illegal for me to post someone else's post???

THIS IS FROM BENJAMIN. HE IS FROM ONE OF MY FAVORITE BANDS - SKILLET... READ WHAT HE HAS TO SAY.
____________

My last blog was a more serious one. I had loads of responses from people asking for advice on finding purpose in life. I have to say it was kinda nice having more serious messages and interactions with fans.

- KEEP READING... THIS IS WHERE IS GETS REAL GOOD -

Sometimes depth is very hard to find in our culture nowadays. It's very easy to starve our souls, very easy to distract that part of your heart. Even in relationships with people, its more common to have a shallow relationship than a deep one. It's definitely easier to have shallow friendships but why not dig deep? Why not open up and be vulnerable with others. Share you heart. I'm sure you would quickly learn that the other person is in the same boat as you, having all the same thoughts and emotions.

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” -Gil Bailie

Benjamin
Skillet
____________

I LOVE THAT HE SAYS "IT'S VERY EASY TO STARVE OUR SOULS, VERY EASY TO DISTRACT THAT PART OF YOUR HEART". HOW TRUE IS THAT??? I MEAN, REALLY... IT SEEMS MOST PEOPLE ARE SO BUSY, OR PRETEND LIKE THEY ARE SO BUSY, JUST SO THEY DON'T HAVE TO BE VUNERABLE. SO THEY DON'T HAVE TO INVEST THEIR VUNERABILITY IN A RELATIONSHIP THAT MIGHT PROVE THAT THEY DON'T HAVE IT ALL TOGETHER. EVERYONE WANTS TO PRETEND THAT THEIR LIFE IS JIM DANDY. BUT, I'M CONVINCED THEY'RE NOT ONLY LYING TO OTHER PEOPLE, BUT THEMSELVES AS WELL. BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF. ADMIT THAT YOU DON'T HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS. ADMIT THAT YOU HAVE DOUBTS. ADMIT THAT YOU QUESTION LIFE SOMETIMES. INVEST IN AN HONEST RELATIONSHIP WHERE YOU ARE REAL WITH ANOTHER PERSON. EVEN YOUR INNER MOST "SECRETS" YOU ARE ASHAMED TO LET ANYONE BE A PART OF. I'LL GO FIRST...

I HAVE QUESTIONED IF GOD WAS REALLY GOD. I HAVE QUESTIONED IF EVERYTHING I WAS EVER TAUGHT IN SUNDAY SCHOOL WAS TRUE. I HAVE QUESTIONED WHY I BELIEVE WHAT I BELIEVE. IS IT BECAUSE IT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TAUGHT, OR BECAUSE I GENUINELY BELIEVE IT. THESE ARE ALL QUESTIONS/THOUGHTS PEOPLE IN CHURCH MAY LOOK DOWN ON YOU FOR. BUT, THE MINUTE PEOPLE START OPENING UP AND "GETTING DIRTY" (NOT IN A DIRTY WAY) WITH EACH OTHER, THAT'S WHEN YOU WILL TRULY FIND COMMUNITY.

P.S. WHEN PEOPLE SHARE WITH YOU THESE INNER MOST SECRETS, THAT DOES NOT GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO SPREAD THE SECRET THEY TRUSTED YOU WITH TO OTHER PEOPLE. THIS ALSO DOES NOT GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO LOOK DOWN ON THEM. THIS DOES HOWEVER GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO SEARCH YOUR OWN HEART AND TRY TO RELATE IF YOU CAN.

MY NEW SCARF...

SO, I GOT A NEW SCARF THIS WEEK... I LOVE IT. IT'S ORANGE - MY FAVORITE COLOR, AND *BONUS*!!! - - - - IT'S GOT POCKETS!!!!! :) IT'S SUPER CUTE. AND FUNCTIONAL. WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT??!?! EVERYONE SHOULD OWN ONE. SO, GO OUT. RIGHT NOW. BUY ONE.

I'VE GOT TOMORROW OFF. - YAAAAY!!!! TIJUANA FLATS OVER BY WILLIS WAYSIDE OPENS TOMORROW... SO GUESS WHERE *I'M* GONNA BE FOR LUNCH?!?!?!?!? YEA BABY! I CAN'T WAIT... :)

I'VE GOT TO GO TO THE GROCERY STORE. SMELLY KELLY AND BOYS ARE COMING OVER FOR DINNER TOMORROW. I'M THINKIN ABOUT MAKING EITHER PASTA, OR RICE, CHICKEN AND ASPARAGUS. THOUGHTS???

stupid iTunes...

i found another artist i'm diggin... his name is ernie halter. hear him. love him. he's very "eric hutchinson". who i also love.

i need to do laundry. that was going to be my task for the day, but it didn't work. i've got a lot i need to do tomorrow. but first, i gotta get to bed.

so, goodnight.

ummm... hello? ...is this thing on????

testing testing... ???

can you hear me???